I haven’t posted anything in a long time. For a few months, I forgot this existed. However, it is time to return to making irregular posts about shit that pisses me off, obscure social concepts, and lyrics that relate to my life on certain days of the week. I will also be writing about music – metal in particular – and the passion I have for heavy tunes. Depending on how much alcohol I have consumed and how much research/opinion-forming I feel like doing before logging into WordPress, topics may range from my experiences with various musical endeavors to my observations about the adaptation of certain genres in different markets or social settings.
Thanks for checking it out! Enjoy.
What have I gained
By giving the world my everything?
It’s never been such a struggle
To regress to what I was yesterday.
But today, I seem so far away.
I’m waiting on the world to sing
The song I’ve been singing.
I’m waiting on the world to sink
The way I’ve been sinking.
I’ve given too much away
Over these past few years
And this is ending today.
There’s pain in my eyes like I’ve never known.
I have fallen short.
Do you still see me as beautiful?
Carry me home,
Lighten my stagger.
My conscience is weak.
I’m begging for reparation.
I am deficient of hope, deficient of hope…
I’ll never find my place on Earth.
But I refuse to fade away, to fade away.
ID Fest. whackest shit ever, to be completely honest. I’m disgusted with the amount of punks and posers that HAVE to come out to these mainstream gigs with their other 16 year-old friends and HAVE to be on hella shit just to be cool and just to enjoy their experience at the concert. I tried thistles one time (POP 2010: The Dream, and I’ll never forget it), but that was a learning experience and another place that I visited, mentally. It’s not a fad or a way to fit in, and it’s really pathetic to watch how drug & alcohol consumption becomes almost a necessity for ‘fans’ to enjoy these shows. What happened to going to shows sober because the music is enough to get high off and you want to be a responsible driver n all that?! That’s where I come from. I feel out of place at metal shows and electro shows now (and I sure as hell never fit in at the symphony)… I just don’t know what to do. Nothing cuts it for me anymore. Then again, life shouldn’t be all about fitting in, it should be about loving what you do and who you are. That’s a whole other half-drunken rant, though… hah. I’ll edit this later.
*she’s trying to read and i’m trying to write* (6/13/11)
These materialistic pretty boys with weak purpose and selfish intentions always thinkin’ they got swag… Fuck all that iced out bullshit.
*upstate New York after a trip to a shit-town’s diner and a double-feature home movie screening* (8/7/11)
This is my opinion. You don’t have to correct me. Conformity, money, booze, bitches, clothes, and sports will not impact your definition on this planet or the life I want people to live. Get real and get it fucking right. What’s with this over-rated, conceited perception of poise they’re calling ‘swag’ anyway?! You’re all full of shit and want to excuse your low-minded arrogance as a cool, hip manner of expressing indifference towards shit that matters. Do some shit that matters with your yolked ass life and don’t rap about it.
That’s what the fuck I think.”
Keep on consuming and conforming like all the rest of this country is bred to do. And keep adding fuckers on Facebook you don’t even know. That’ll get you somewhere.
“I’m not a fucking role model,
I’m a 19 year old fucking emotional coaster with pipe dreams…
These mothafuckas think I’m ‘sposed to live up to something? Shit
I’m still jacking off and proceeding my life careless
But getting more pussy cause I tell bitches I’m Wood Harris
From LA to Paris, I’m getting these weird stares
At skateparks and airports all in the year, it’s weird…
And the couple bucks in my pocket, so now I could go buy
A couple hot pockets and grandmom could stop cooking
Them nasty ass collard greens, pressures on me like this top hat
I’m not a fucking rapist or serial killer, I lied
(We know, you just want attention, you’ll be fine)
I tried to hard, huh?
Made a couple thou’ and I just don’t know what to buy yet
The ‘Preme shit is free and I don’t drink, so fuck a wine set
Nigga fuck a mindset, my brain is an obscenity
Fucked in the head, I lost my mind with my virginity
Oh that’s a triple three six, isn’t he a devil worshiper?
Cause I’m too fucking ignorant to do some research?
I’m the star of the group
So no one else gets the respect that they deserve cause of you
Can’t they just be happy for me
Like, a kid with nothing, living out his dreams?
Why they got to fucking hate?
They don’t want to fuck with me cause I do not fuck with religion
You see that’s my decision, you fuckers don’t have to listen
Here, put this middle finger in your ear!
When someone gets blamed cause some white kid had aimed his AK-47
At 47 kids, I don’t wanna see my name mentioned
I don’t think anyone’s going to mention
I don’t think anyone takes you serious enough to believe you
College wasn’t working and I wasn’t working
So I was at home jerking off until my dick was hurting
But I was determined to be great, so those classes can wait
Cause the four days that I went, I wasn’t learning shit
Now I’m living dreams that I wanted since 8
I can afford to get my mother something on her birthday
They claim the shit I say is just wrong
Like nobody has those really dark thoughts when alone
I’m just a teenager, who admits he’s suicide prone
My life is doing pretty good, so that date is postponed for now
Wow, life’s a cute bitch full of estrogen
And when she gives you lemons nigga, throw them at pedestrians
I hate my fucking life, but when I make that announcement
My hero calls my phone, just to put that in doubt then
And then I am confused if I want in or just out
My friends really think I’m playing when I say I need counseling
I sit in [my] room and just pout and shout loud
Inside, sometimes I just want to die…
All you fucking lames don’t have to like me
The devil doesn’t wear Prada, I’m clearly in a fucking white tee”
gone are the days of evasion
existence is how you create it
whatever compels you to keep on fucking embrace it
so long as the missing piece of the puzzle
is split down the middle
we had better prepare ourselves for perpetual winter
why do we do this to ourselves?
continuous escape, a living hell
like those other lovers hidden under the covers
it’s so empty in the arms of another
see what you’ve done
you’re irresistible with your sordid stories
the morbid glory of it all
remember when times were worth celebrating
pour the wine for the fallen friends
and foes singing in unison
my hell is a blank piece of paper
staring back at me
my hell is wasted potential harm
why do we do this to ourselves?
continuous escape, a living hell (living hell)
why do we do this to ourselves?
it’s so fucking empty in the arms of another…